Christmas 1995

Happy Holidays!          

Its been a pretty eventful year!  I’d like to report ALL good news, but as usual life is a mix.  This letter is going to close family and friends (it is not for the faint-hearted). I think you all know what a talker I am and I’d like to share what’s been happening ... so the next time we meet/talk, you’ll know what’s been going on. I guess we’ll start with the “bad” news and finish with the “good”.

I am living alone in our house right now.  Adrienne moved out of the house at the beginning of October with Domenic (we have been having marriage problems and she wants a divorce).  I get to see Domenic every other weekend and from Wednesday at 3pm till Thursday at 5pm -- not seeing Dom has been the most difficult part of this. I’ve always been in favor of equal rights, but I find that in the legal system a ‘father’ is often considered expendable for a young child.   This is all temporary and I hope the situation will improve as we progress.

I know may of you have experienced divorce in your families (what a gut-wrenching process!)  I never realized that our legal system seems to reward uncompromising behavior -- some of the attorneys can be ruthless in just looking out for their clients. It’s no wonder couples come out of the process in “shell-shock”.   Instead of seeing divorce as a “growing apart” of two people who once shared very many special times -- it becomes the “demonization” of the other spouse.   I have joined a “father’s” support group and some of the stories make my hair (the little which I have left) curl on end.  I have to share with you a wonderful message about forgiveness: “forgiveness is the key which frees us from being enslaved by our past.”

Money is also very tight. I have been trying to start my own business and have spent about all of my savings ... along with picking up some debt.  I also still have to make the payments on the house, etc....   I can’t afford a lawyer in all this, people tell me I have to have one -- but how can I pay?  Right now I am spending a few hours a week in the law library, reading up ... maybe when this is done I’ll be able to take the bar exam!  It is all too possible that in the next several months I could be out of work, out of my home, away from my child, and bankrupt ... please keep us all in your thoughts and prayers.  I try to keep a sense of humor about things, but at times it is very frightening.

NOW FOR THE GOOD NEWS!!  Domenic is terrific!  He is almost three and really a smart kid with an amazing imagination.  He helps “daddy” around the house, and he loves to go out and help shovel the snow (I imagine that will change as he gets older). He is a good “pasta” eater. I’m amazed that he likes Italian olives and also the pickled peppers my mother makes.  He loves trains and he is in heaven at Grandma’s house standing by the tracks and watching the “big choo-choos” go by.  Just yesterday we made some ornaments for the tree using some junk-mail stickers I had gotten in the mail. He would draw an outline with his crayons, put the sticker in, then I would cut it out and he would help tape a “hanger” on it -- he would then put it on the tree --- we must have made about a dozen!

My mother is doing very well.  She had cataract surgery this summer and could have gone on TV advertising for eye surgeons.  She came out of surgery awake and laughing -- the world is a much brighter place now, she can see much more clearly (especially Domenic), and tells me she can now see a lot more dirty spots to clean in her house.  She really enjoys Domenic, she shows him a lot of things I would have never thought of.

My business (The Software Workshop) is finally starting to make some income, not turn a profit, but at least customers are starting to come.  I am doing Web Page Hosting services for the Internet and did some advertising in CompuServe’s Monthly magazine.  If you are “on-line” check us out at     I hope to see good growth in ‘96!

Lastly, but not leastly, we have all been in good health.  Especially at this time of the year I am reminded of my faith and those four words, “thy will be done”.   Please don’t hesitate to call (315) 695-4422 --  it’s always nice to hear a friendly voice.

With Best Wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

© John and Domenic Murtari 2011